If you're like many people you've had the prospect of divorce thrust upon you. Often there is an element or surprise or shock. It is as if you were knocked semi-conscious. So what do you do?
Your first realization should be that this isn't a death sentence although it may feel that way. Secondly, like any trauma, you need to attend to its affects on you physically and emotionally. Thirdly, you need to develop a plan or strategy for recovery.
Let's use major surgery as an analogy. There is a medical need for surgery, there is distress and trauma to the body, and together with the surgeon you decide a course of action. The healing from surgery is sometimes as uncomfortable as what ailed you in the first place. Following surgery there is a period of intense recuperation followed by a less intense period of recovery and an easing back into normal activities. How would you feel if, during recuperation, you weren't allowed to ask any questions about the recovery? You would wonder..will I be two weeks away from my job, or six months? What signs do I need to watch for that indicate that I am healing, or NOT healing? If you don't have any expectations on the recovery process, the uncertainty would drive you nuts, wouldn't it? It might even make the recovery more difficult and may extend the healing time.
Divorce is no different. Your anxiety is caused by the uncertainty. So many of us get stuck straddling the present unable to get centered, our thoughts and one foot in the past, and our worries and one foot in the future. We remember what was, and worry about the uncertainty of what will be.
Divorce Recovery Suite can make one promise to you! We can guarantee one outcome of your divorce. That guarantee is that if you educate yourself about divorce, about grief and loss, about recovering from trauma, about rediscovering yourself, about how you communicate with others and the interaction of others to you, that your healing will be more complete, the process of recovery more rapid, and the feeling of being whole earlier than you would have otherwise.
How do you do that? READ. Read everything you can get your hands on. You need to understand grief and its stages. Discover why you pick the partners you pick. Why do men and women seemingly speak different languages? Do you understand how much your childhood plays a role in your choices of partners? How to make better choices? How you can adjust self-esteem. How can you avoid choosing the same kind of person as a partner again?
We have partnered with Amazon.com to provide you with a large selection of books on divorce, healing and recovery. Would you invest $50 or $100 if you knew it would dramatically improve your divorce recovery? You will feel whole and happy one day. When that day arrives depends on how much work you put into your recovery. Books on divorce are often around $10. Buy a handful. READ. LEARN. And relax. You'll be okay. In fact you'll be just fine. We promise :-)
Your first realization should be that this isn't a death sentence although it may feel that way. Secondly, like any trauma, you need to attend to its affects on you physically and emotionally. Thirdly, you need to develop a plan or strategy for recovery.
Let's use major surgery as an analogy. There is a medical need for surgery, there is distress and trauma to the body, and together with the surgeon you decide a course of action. The healing from surgery is sometimes as uncomfortable as what ailed you in the first place. Following surgery there is a period of intense recuperation followed by a less intense period of recovery and an easing back into normal activities. How would you feel if, during recuperation, you weren't allowed to ask any questions about the recovery? You would wonder..will I be two weeks away from my job, or six months? What signs do I need to watch for that indicate that I am healing, or NOT healing? If you don't have any expectations on the recovery process, the uncertainty would drive you nuts, wouldn't it? It might even make the recovery more difficult and may extend the healing time.
Divorce is no different. Your anxiety is caused by the uncertainty. So many of us get stuck straddling the present unable to get centered, our thoughts and one foot in the past, and our worries and one foot in the future. We remember what was, and worry about the uncertainty of what will be.
Divorce Recovery Suite can make one promise to you! We can guarantee one outcome of your divorce. That guarantee is that if you educate yourself about divorce, about grief and loss, about recovering from trauma, about rediscovering yourself, about how you communicate with others and the interaction of others to you, that your healing will be more complete, the process of recovery more rapid, and the feeling of being whole earlier than you would have otherwise.
How do you do that? READ. Read everything you can get your hands on. You need to understand grief and its stages. Discover why you pick the partners you pick. Why do men and women seemingly speak different languages? Do you understand how much your childhood plays a role in your choices of partners? How to make better choices? How you can adjust self-esteem. How can you avoid choosing the same kind of person as a partner again?
We have partnered with Amazon.com to provide you with a large selection of books on divorce, healing and recovery. Would you invest $50 or $100 if you knew it would dramatically improve your divorce recovery? You will feel whole and happy one day. When that day arrives depends on how much work you put into your recovery. Books on divorce are often around $10. Buy a handful. READ. LEARN. And relax. You'll be okay. In fact you'll be just fine. We promise :-)
Posts
No comments:
Post a Comment